


Death inspires vengeance but war helps you leave a bloody trail behind you

by erenkillthemall



Series: War is bloody, but they must be fought if you wish to be free [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky can't deal with death, Character Death, Friendship, M/M, Murder, Oops, The commandos have lots of feelings, but not really, they've grown attached to Tony and Bucky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8158849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenkillthemall/pseuds/erenkillthemall
Summary: Tony was shot, laying in critical. The commandos are unsure if Tony'll make it. To make matters worse they can't find Bucky, who seemed to have disappeared after Tony was hurt.Note- This story has been rewritten so its new.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Commandos wait to hear about Tony's condition, and Bucky has disappeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new chapter is completely different from what was the original plan, its more commando focused. But hey you also get Pepper. I'm still not happy with this, but i think it turned out pretty okay.

The Soldier disappeared after Tony was taken away, one moment he was next to the Commandos and the next he had disappeared in the confusion. Steve searched for him, but the others pulled him away to follow Tony to the hospital. Each member was silent and somber as they rode to the hospital that Tony was taken to. Each lost in their own thoughts and guilt, each thinking they could had done something to stop from the Mechanic from getting hurt and kept Bucky from disappearing.

They waited for any word on the genius, but nobody would say anything not even when Bruce had pulled the doctor card. Doctors stopped trying to get them to leave, whether it was because they felt bad for the sullen-looking men and woman, or because they were still covered in blood and dirt. The doctors eventually got their courage up and said that they needed to check the wounds that the others had, they went in pairs, Loki and Thor first because they were the worst, Natasha and Clint went next, then Sam and Steve. Steve put up a slight fight wanting to be there when they got word on Tony, it was only after Natasha had assured him that she would get him as soon as word had reached them.

No word came while they were gone and no word came for hours after that, the Commandos took turns sleeping on uncomfortable plastic chairs. When cops finally came to question The Commandos on the carnage that had happened on the dock. 

“What happened? You and your friends are covered in blood, knives, and guns. We just want to know if-” The police officer gave up on talking to them one on one since they were always in pairs or more.

“And we will tell you again, that they had attacked us.” Steve said gruffly

“ Was this some kind of gang war?”

“If I say yes then will you leave us the hell alone?” Steve was towering above the officer.

“I need the report.”

“Ask Shield, we are the innocents in this.” Clint said tiredly, he signed half of it as well which seemed to confuse the officer more. 

“There are thirty dead on the scene of the crime, and you all are innocent?”

Steve visibly sighed and straightened his shoulders. “Go home, by tomorrow this case will be off your desk and out of your records it’ll be like it never exist. The secretary of defense is dead and yet there are no government officials to arrest us. Leave it alone and go home.” Steve stared at the guy, pulling off the Captain persona to its fullest to make the officer fall in line to what he says. “You can pursue this and get nowhere because to put it frankly son, we don’t even exist outside of here. You will find nothing on a woman with red hair and a Russian accent, nothing on two Scandinavians, nothing on any of us. So back off and let us deal with our friend.”

The officer tried to not flinch away from the man in front of him, he looked at each of the Commandos in turn. “Who are you guys?”

“People that can kill you in a heartbeat and feel nothing after.” Natasha said softly, slouching in her seat but still having a look of lethality about her. There was no doubt her words held the truth. “Captain has given you an order, I suggest you follow it or we will have to clean up the mess.”

“Nobody is a ghost, there is something on you.” The officer turned and left the Commandos.

Steve heaved a sigh, before sitting down. He looked worn and older than he was. Tony was a part of the Commandos, even if he denied it. The Commandos started to look up to him for command as much as they did Steve, the assassins integrated themselves into their little family and waiting to know if Tony was going to make it or not was killing them, so when a doctor stopped near Steve they all stood.

“We lost him twice,he's in a coma right now. It's too early to tell if he'll make it, but he's a fighter.” The doctor looked as worn as the rest of them.

“Can we see him?” Steve’s words were shaking, hope carefully unfurling in his chest.

“I think it would be best to wait until tomorrow, go home and wash up.” 

The word home sent a pang through all of them, because they all thought of the compound first. It had become their home, a place they could unwind and be themselves. A place full of Tony’s laughter and gently barbed insults that were meant to make them laugh and not hurt, a place full of Bucky’s quiet words and small smiles. Tony had made the place and accommodated them all, changing their rooms to their liking. It had been a long nine months, but flew by and changed each commando.

“I think he is right, dirt and grime could be bad for Tony’s health.” Bruce said softly at Steve’s side.

“He should be coming home with us.”

“He will, when it's certain that Tony won't have to be rushed into critical care, I will have him moved.” 

“Okay, will you stay here Bruce?” Steve didn't ask to exclude Bruce from returning home, it was rather a silent ask to make sure Tony didn't slip away from them while they were gone.. Bruce nodded and took a seat, Steve smiled gratefully at the doctor. “We'll be back.” 

After the team had washed up, they were almost too nervous and full of energy to sleep. They had to be in motion, but Steve looked at each of his team, taken in they weary forms and how even Thor looked dead on his feet and ushered them all into a room to sleep together. It would calm them to be in each other's presence, they settled around each other in an almost pile. Clint was curled between Steve and Natasha, Sam was on the other side of Steve and Thor and Loki slept at the foot of the bed. Some of the tension drained out of the each of them. They were safe and while, while Bucky was AWOL and Tony laid in a hospital bed, they were okay and that meant a lot to them. Natasha gently touched Clint and Steve with her fingertips, reassuring herself to worries she would never admit aloud. The commandos hesitantly reached for each other, whether it was with their toes or hands, they made sure each was there. Safe and whole.

When the Commandos came back to the hospital, they were relieved to hear that they would be able to see Tony and that Tony’s condition hadn’t worsened over the night. Bruce was sitting in a plastic chair when the Commandos poured in. 

Bruce tensed up at the sound of the door opening, waiting to see who would come through the door. He relaxed when he saw and heard Steve walk through, he picked up his book he had dropped into his lap and started to read again.

“How’s he doing?” Steve asked softly as if Tony would wake up at the sound of a whisper. The blond’s gaze flitted between the doctor and the genius.

“Better than I expected honestly, he seems stable. I guess we are lucky he’s sleeping otherwise, he’s never lay down long enough to heal.” Bruce sent Steve a small smile, which Steve returned.

“You want to head back and sleep, we can watch him.” Steve settled in the chair next to Bruce’s

“Hey, why aren’t there more chairs?” Clint said huffily, “I’m stealing chairs from other rooms, brb.” Natasha went to grab the archer’s hoodie before he could actually steal chairs, but he was out the door before she could.

Natasha sighs. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t get kicked out.”

“Or you could, it’d be funny to watch some orderly throw Clint on his ass.” Sam threw in casually.

“He wouldn’t go down without taking at least four orderlies down with him, then just sneak back in.” Natasha countered.

“Aye, our shield brother would be difficult to keep out.” Thor interjected “I agree with lady Natasha, we should keep Clint out of trouble.” 

Loki shook his head at his brother “Must you talk like that, I swear you do it to annoy me.” 

“I haven't clue what you mean brother.” Thor sent a blinding smile toward his brother.

Loki rubbed his temple and glared at Thor. “Sometimes I despise you.”

Steve shook his head at their antics “You should get some rest Bruce. We’ll take turns watching him.” 

Bruce sent the blond a tired smile “Watch it, for both fans and killers.” Bruce bookmarked his book before standing.

“I'll see you out Dr. Banner.” Sam stood and walked Bruce out.

And then began the long vigilance of watching Tony. They took turns watching over the genius, making sure he was protected from paparazzi and killers alike. Natasha was the one to almost break Miss. Potts hand when she stormed in, looking like a mess.

“Natasha! That's Tony's PA, let her go.” Steve stood as well, looking at the redhead, Natasha seemed to have changed her tune towards Tony over these weeks she was the most adamant on watching over Tony.

Natasha let her go and backed off a few steps, Pepper for her part brushed off her skirt and rubbed her wrist but looked otherwise fine. She went to Tony’s side. She looked him over, her eyes were red rimmed as she took him in. Then she sniffed and looked at the other two occupants with a glare. “Why are you in Mr. Stark's room? Where is Mr. Barnes he's the only one listed as family.” Steve highly doubted that was the case, if she was here.

“We work with Tony ma'am.” She looked unconvinced “And,” Steve hesitated, how much did Miss Potts know.

“Is he alright?” Her question was soft, she gently ran a hand in Tony's hair. The gesture seemed to comfort her.

“We don't know, he's missing.” Natasha said without hesitation, Miss Potts’ head snapped up to look at Natasha.

“What? Oh Tony, what have you done this time.” She looked at the genius with gentle eyes, before turning her gaze on the other two. “Is Mr. Barnes safe?”

“We know he is not in bad hands Miss Potts.” Natasha answered, both seemed to be dancing around saying the truth but saying just enough.

“Good, Mr. Barnes will return, I'm sure. For now I need to know who you two are and why the staff is allowing you here.” Miss Potts stared them both down, Steve could see why Tony spoke so highly of his PA now she was a tough woman.

“We are watching over Mr. Stark. As The Captain said, we work with Tony. There are more than two of us, but the others have gone to rest. I'm Widow, but you can call me Natasha and that is The Captain.”

“Steve Rogers ma’am.” Steve tipped his head forward. “I'm sure you know our business.”

Miss Potts nodded “Mr. Stark has spoken of new business partners.” So, she does know what Tony does, and Tony seems to speak about the business to her. A smile tugged at Miss Potts lips “I’m good at my job, Mr. Rogers. It's my duty to know what Tony does and make sure that the company must not suffer.”

Steve must have looked confused because Natasha elbowed him and signed to him about his micro expressions and how he never was good at beating around the bush. Steve shrugged, he was use to getting what he needed to know. “I'm sure you are, Tony speaks highly of you.” Steve gave Miss Potts a smile, which made everyone think Steve was more innocent then he was was. Miss Potts softened a bit, so it worked on her as well. 

“Mr. Stark will need to be moved to his housing, but first let me ask what happened.” She looked at Natasha, expecting her to tell the story without saying to much. Which she did and did it well enough that Miss Potts covered her mouth and said a soft “Oh Tony. You idiot.” She gripped Tony’s hand, like a lifeline as Natasha finished the story of what happened. Miss Potts laughs watery when Natasha tells of Tony’s confession. “That sounds like him, I assume after that Mr. Barnes had left?”

“Yes, we have been unable to reach him.” Natasha nodded.

“I see, thank you.” Miss Potts stood, brushing her hands against her skirt. “I'm assuming I should move Mr. Stark to where you have been staying?” 

“I believe that would be the best course of action.” Steve said, ready to walk her to the door. He could almost hear the comments about how his manners belonged in the 1940’s. 

“I'll make the arrangements.” Miss Potts sent a polite smile before breezing through the door.

“I can see why Tony talks so highly of her.” Natasha said, reclining back her seat. She gave Steve a look then at his seat, Steve sat back down.

“I agree.” 

Miss Potts had ordered the hospital until they finally just followed what she said. They had Tony back in the compound by the next day. The Commandos were impressed at the tenacity of Miss Potts when they met her, she then frightened a room of highly trained assassins and army men into making sure Tony was protected. When she felt she had thoroughly got her point across, she said a few kind words to Bruce and kissed Tony’s forehead before leaving.

“She is frightening.” Sam said from where he stood, staring after the redhead.

“From what Tony told me, she's always been a whirlwind in high heels.” Bruce put in, he had avoided the speech because everybody was warned about getting Banker's blood pressure up or getting him angry. And no one had enough of a death wish to even try to mess with the doctor not even Clint.

“It's no wonder Tony keeps her around.” Clint called from the perch that he set up.

“I wouldn't want to even try to anger that woman,” Loki spoke up from his space near Thor “Anthony probably doesn't want to risk her wrath by attempting to fire her.” 

The rest hummed in agreement, they started to filter out making sure one stayed with Tony. They wanted to keep an eye on him, his condition was no longer in danger of turning critical but they still worried. So they would wait, look for Bucky and figure out where he went and watch for Hydra.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So if this familiar with cause you already read it. When re-read this and debated whether I should keep this or not, I found that I liked most of it and kept it. I fixed a few typos and such. But not much has changed.

When Tony first came out of his sleep there were only two things he could think of, the first was it was fuckin bright and the second was, what the hell happened? Tony tried opening his eyes a couple of times, failing more than succeeding. Finally, he just gave up and went back to sleep.

The second time Tony jolted and was frantically searching the room, his mind racing filling him in on what happened, he panicked even more when he couldn't find who he was looking for. Hands pressed him back into the bed. “Tony, calm down you're safe. You're alive.” Why would they say that? Did he die? No, he's breathing, he knew that much. “Tony, it's alright.” Tony leaned back, gasping a word over and over, his throat was scratchy like he hasn't talked in awhile, but he was always talking. “He's not here Tones.” How many people were here? Where was he? Tony sighed and fell back into his dreamless sleep.

He had woken a total of five times before he was lucid enough to realize where he was. He looked around, looking at each occupant in turn they each had different levels of weariness about them or maybe the ones that didn't were better at hiding it. “What happened?” He croaked, then grimaced at his voice, Bruce was there with ice chips. “Don't you dare not tell me, and where is-” He dropped off and looked to Steve, wondering if he should call him Bucky or Soldier.

“You were shot, in your chest.” Bruce said softly “You were rushed to the hospital, you were in critical for the next days. You had flatlined twice.” Which explained why whoever was calming him the first time said he was alive, he stared at Bruce for him to continue, “You were in a coma for the last six months. You've woken-”

“I know I have.” Tony cut him off, he was aware most of the time when he woke up, “Where is he?” Tony looked around the room around again, lingering in each corner where Bucky would usually stand. 

They all looked a bit uneasy at the question, Steve was the brave one “We don't know.” Tony gaze turned sharp “He ran off, after you,” the blond trailed off waving a hand weakly towards him. 

“You left him alone?! He could be in Hydra’s hands for all you fucking know!” Tony snapped, looking at each of them. “Of all the- Jarvis pull up the damn protocol.” Tony moved to get up, but was pushed down by Bruce.

“You are on bed rest until your wound is fully healed. That’s final Tony,” Bruce said gently but firmly, then added more softly “Please, don’t make us lose you a third time.”

Tony sighed “Fine, but I expect things to be brought to me so I can find our wayward Soldier.” 

 

The commandos stayed close to Tony, they had watched him die in that dock and everyone was still trying to reassure themselves that the genius was safe, and awake and that he wouldn’t disappear on them, Tony grumbled about the constant attention and how it took time from his work; but he had to say his chest may have warmed whenever he saw Steve silently sketching, Bruce’s soft conversations, Sam works on Redwing, Clint mindlessly talks because he could, Thor and Loki bickering with each other and even Natasha’s silent presences. Or it was possibly the drugs that Bruce had him on, either way he was glad for the company even if he would never admit to anyone.

“Jarvis any progress?” Tony asks as he closes another project that he can’t build yet, the only reason he stays in the damned bed is Bruce’s threat of knocking him out. 

“No, sir, there is no evidence of The Soldier anywhere.” Jarvis says, sounding both apologetic and sad at that news.

“Why is it you have a protocol for Bucky?” Natasha asks from the doorway, taking up her normal corner.

“He asked me to make one for when he thought he’s back in Hydra.” Tony says absent-mindedly.

Natasha was silent before starting again “Can you answer me straight Stark?” 

“Maybe.” Tony shrugged, then looked up at the redhead “Depends on how I feel.”

“Bucky holds you to the highest regard whenever I asked him about you and you do the same, you both watch over each other to the point of nearly dying. Or actually dying.” Tony stares at her waiting to see where this was going. “I think I missed judged you and him, do you actually care about him?”

Tony sighs, putting down his tablet and sitting up. It was a struggle to get there, but he managed to sit up without almost falling back down because of the pain. “Natasha, The- Bucky and I.” He sighed harshly through his nose “I do, so much that it scares me at times.” The genius turns his gaze to the window “I would burn the world if it meant he would be safe.” 

Natasha laughed softly “You have nearly done that.” Tony looks at her, with wonder in his eyes, she gave him a smile, then her face took a more serious note “I’m sorry for the way I treated you, I just-” She stopped herself and before Tony could say it was fine, she started again “I saw myself in him when you spoke to him. I was part of the KGB and probably Hydra at one point, even the Red Room treated us as if we were objects and that we were only there to follow orders. I thought I could help him, as Clint helped me.” She shrugged, looking almost vulnerable as she spoke. “I was blinded by my own past and failed to see beyond what i wanted to see.”

Tony held a hand out to the redhead, Natasha walked over to him, he pulled her closer to hug her. The spy stiffened and resisted before relaxing and gently wrapping her arms around the genius. “That’s what Buck and I do, we deceive. You don’t have to apologize to me.” If there was a sniffle from the redhead neither of them mentioned it. Tony didn’t dislike the spy, he actually admired her strength and the person she was. She was a product of circumstances and she saw those circumstances and wanted to stop it; it was not something Tony could hate or even dislike Natasha for, because he would do the exact same thing. 

When Natasha left, she pressed a kiss to his forehead and said a ‘thank you’ before walking out the door. Steve walked in a few minutes later, he gave Tony a small smile before taking his usual chair. “Natasha looked happy, she was even smiling. Thought she had killed you or something.”

“Nope,” Tony popped the p “Still breathing, we just talked a few things over and sorted ourselves out. All is well, for now at least.”

“So, no more plotting your demise.” Steve teased the genius.

“Well, not so forefront anymore.” Tony gave him a smile.

Steve looked at his hands for a moment, Tony’s smile fell. “I’m really glad you’re alive Tony, and I’m sorry that I didn’t watch Bucky.”

Tony almost threw a comment about how everyone was apologizing to him today, but he refrained “It’s alright, Bucky had a way of slipping away even if you have an all watchful AI.” Tony shrugs, “Don’t worry, Steve-o I’ll find him.” Tony gave Steve his showman smile, Steve gave him a small smile in return.

 

Tony was nearly ready to face the threat of Bruce knocking him out with drugs, he was so bored. “No, Tony.”

“Oh come on Clint, I’m dying here.” Clint gave him a sharp look for the dying comment, but the genius ignored it. “You’re not here as my friend, you’re my warden.” Tony pouted

“More like a babysitter.” Clint sighed through his nose, “Fine, I’ll talk to Bruce.” Tony started smiling, then frowned when Clint continued “But you do exactly what Bruce says.” Tony huffed a fine and Clint left to talk with Tony’s other babysitter.

“Daddy’s home.” Tony called out and the bots were immediately around him, poking and prodding at him. “I’m alright, good to see the workshop in one piece.” Tony said as he petted each of the bots claws. “I’m sure i’ve Jarvis to thank for that one.” The genius sent a smile at the nearest sensor.

“My pleasure sir.” Jarvis said fondly, when the bots were convinced that Tony wouldn’t fall over they went to pester Clint who took it in stride.

“They get excited.” Tony said as he moved his worktable “You can play fetch with at least one of them.” Tony made a gesture to where the ball was, or where he thought it would be.

“I never really got to know these guys, they have names?” Tony lit up at the question, people assumed that they didn’t have names or even personalities.

“Dum-E, U and Butterfingers. I will warn you don’t drink any smoothies Dum-E gives you, unless you check with Jarvis first.” Clint asked more questions about the bots that Tony was more than happy to answer them. They even got into the mechanics of the bots and Tony was happy to discover that Clint was at least smart enough to understand.

“Sir, I have located where Sergeant Barnes could be.” Jarvis interrupted, Tony stopped and looked at the map that was pulled up. 

“New York? I really shouldn’t be surprised.” Tony looked at what Jarvis also pulled up.

“Nope,” Tony looked at Clint with a raised eyebrow “You got that ‘I’m about to do something stupid’ it's almost the same as Steve’s. I’ll go after him and bring him back.” Tony opened his mouth to ask why “Steve is to attached and is shit at spy work, Natasha is also to close, Sam is not the best to deal with Barnes; I, at least, have spoken to the man. And Thor and Loki always travel together so not the best to send after Bucky. So i’ll go.” Clint said as if it was simple.

“Alright,” Tony nodded

“I’ll send down someone, any preference?” Clint said as he stood

“Nope, any will do.” Clint was almost door when he heard Tony speak again “Thank you.” It was soft, Clint almost didn’t hear it, the archer just smiled and walked out.

Tony was allowed to go to his room and not have to sleep in a hospital bed, which was a relief and a dread for the genius. At least in a hospital bed, he knew someone was nearby, but his room was removed from the others, for privacy. Tony looked at the bed, with a mournful glance it would be the first night that he would sleep without Bucky within reaching distance. The genius fell onto the bed, he didn’t fall asleep as soon as he hit the bed, like he hoped. He ended up staring at the ceiling for a what he swore was a few hours. Eventually Tony threw off his covers and went to the workshop, screw his injuries he was not able to sleep to might has well done something that is worth something.

“Tony how long have you been down here?” Steve’s voice filtered over the loud music, Tony made the motion for it to be turned down then looked up at Jarvis for an answer.

“Sir has been down here for the past six hours.” Jarvis answered.

“Tony, you’re suppose to be sleeping, to heal.” Steve was closer.

“Then you better have some damn sleeping pills, because I apparently can’t sleep in my bed.” Tony hands stopped moving over the new project he was doing.

“Is it be-”

“Of course it is, I rarely had to sleep on my own in years. He leaves and suddenly I back to not being able to sleep, he’s probably not having these fucking problems.” Tony frowned, he might have started rambling “I’m Tony fucking Stark and I need a damn teddy bear to sleep.” Tony could practically hear Howard yelling at him for being so dependent on someone. 

“You’re human, everyone has comforts.”

Tony laughed bitterly “Have you met anyone I met, they say I’m a heartless man. Pepper even talked about the damn hole in my chest saying how it's nice to know that Tony Stark has a heart.” Tony sighed “I shouldn’t be so damn dependent on anyone, you think I would-”

“Tony.” Steve said sternly, and sat next to the genius “You have a lot of heart, I’ve seen it over the months that we’ve been here. Don’t sit there and talk about yourself like that, you’re human Tony and a good man.” Steve looked at him. As if willing the genius to believe his words.

“Yeah, okay.” Tony nodded, he was tired and was talking to damn much. He shouldn’t have even brought it up in the first place.

“Look, if you need to have-”

“Pretty sure Bucky wouldn’t be happy if his best friend was sleeping with his boyfriend.” Boyfriend, that tasted weird, but that's exactly what they were to each other. Probably more. Tony was grinning at the blond, who shook his head.

“Just listen, I don’t mind sleeping in your bed and if you don’t like that then I’m sure the others wouldn’t object to helping you out.” Steve shrugged “We’ve all needed each other one night or another, if you need it Tony then we are willing to help you.”

And Steve sounded so damn earnest that Tony almost believed him. But Tony has heard and seen people, who said they are willing to help, but only leave him or crush him when he needs them. But Tony knew he had two options, tell Steve no and crawl into an empty bed where he was sure to have nightmares or have someone with him to cling onto. He sighed through his nose. “Fine, but I will cuddle you.” Tony warned, Steve was the best option, he held some of Tony’s trust, so Tony felt marginally comfortable to sleep around the blond. 

“You can't do worse than Clint.” Steve brushed it off as Tony started the trek back.

“Oh, there's a story there, do tell.” 

“Clint had punched me one night. I've had him pull a knife on me, which he has a many hidden maybe more than Natasha does.” Tony snorted, he could see that.

“I’m disappointed in the lack of detail, thought you'd be a storyteller.” Tony glanced at him from the corner of his eye

“Not really, I can't tell stories very well I'm good at sticking to the bare minimum of what to say.” 

“Figures, I'd choose the blandest person to cuddle. Can't even tell me a bedtime story.” 

“I hear Natasha tells great stories, and Thor tells of great tales. I'm sure one of them will gladly cuddle with you.” 

“And probably get stabbed or squashed by them. I'll stick with you, thanks.” Tony rolled his eyes and held the door open for Steve to walk through.

“You know I expected a bit more when I thought about what you’d sleep in.” Steve said looking around.

“Think of that often then Captain?” Tony sent a grin at Steve’s back, he could see the red on his neck which made Tony laugh. “I’m messing with you Steve, kind of.” Tony stood awkwardly for a few moments waiting for Steve to either get into the bed or to tell him he was kidding and leave Tony to deal with his problems.

Steve got into the bed, Tony hesitated and re-thought his position. “Get into the bed Tony, I’m tired still.”

“Of course you’re bossy in bed.” Tony snarked to hide his insecurities he had about the situation, Steve rolled his eyes at the genius and held out an arm for Tony to curl under, which the genius took gladly. Tony placed his head on Steve’s chest. “I’m sure Bucky will be happy about this.”

“He really doesn’t get to say anything, since he left you.” Steve said sternly “He should’ve stayed and made sure you were at least alive.”

Tony looked at Steve for a few moments “He’s not thinking like that, he doesn’t handle emotions well. He was an emotionless weapon for years, I got hurt, he is just thinking about taking Hydra out for what they did.” 

“That doesn’t-” Steve started

“Trust me, I know, I’m still mad at him. I just understand him is all. Y’know, I’m surprised that you’d say something bad about Bucky.” 

Steve snorted “He’s not a perfect, I never thought he was. He can make mistakes just the same as the rest of us. I don’t idolize him, but usually he was there for me to hit if he did something stupid.” 

Tony hummed and fell silent, lost in thought. Lost in worry, he hoped knew that Bucky wouldn’t be caught by Hydra; Bucky was too good. Tony wished that Bucky would’ve stayed, wished that when he woke up he saw Bucky. But he knew his Soldier to well, he wouldn’t have been able to sit in a waiting room for news that Tony lived or died, for all his Asset training, the man was a man of action and would've hunted down any that hurt someone close to him. It was better than waiting for bad news, Tony would probably yell at Bucky if when he came home, but Tony would forgive him and welcome him back.

Tony settled back into a semblance of a schedule when Bruce let him return to work, he had to take it slow but he could start doing projects again, Clint gave him updates on Bucky who seemed to be doing exactly what Tony knew he would be doing. The Commandos seem to take turns on who would be staying with Tony at night, Tony learned that Natasha was a light sleeper and as silent as she was when she was awake, Sam talked in his sleep most of the time and moved around so Tony kicked him out of the bed a few times, Thor and Loki didn’t separate, even though they fought a lot; ‘It's safer for us to be together.’ was what he got when he asked what was up with them, which the genius got it was the same for Bucky and him, Steve was a perfect soldier, got up at ungodly hour but he stayed until Tony woke up after the first frantic waking that Tony had. Tony would never say anything out loud, but he was grateful to have the Commandos around, they were accepting of him and didn’t say anything about him needing someone to sleep with him. He was grateful to them for that, they seemed to be trying to fill the space so Tony didn’t miss Bucky as much as he would.

He still did, that was inevitable, he had grown accustomed to Bucky’s silent presence that he knew would always be near when he need, so use to the sass he would get back, the light touches that Bucky would give him when he passed by him. He just missed him and it was ridiculous.

 

“Tony, we are coming back.” Clint said as a greeting

“Well, hello to you to sunshine.” Tony rolled his eyes and grabbed his coffee “When should i expect you?” Tony kept his calm, his voice steady. He saw the glance that Natasha gave him, he waved it away.

“Sometime to today, we have Zola. Well, he’s in the trunk, but we have him, Tone you wan-”

“No, I don’t.” He said quickly, he would lose his calm if he heard Bucky’s voice, “So, you have the infamous Arnim Zola. Why bring him here?”

“‘Cause he has information?” 

“Yeah, dumb question. I’ll see you in a few.” Tony said as he hung up, “Clint is coming back with a few visitors.”

“Bucky?” Natasha asked, though she already knew the answer to the question, Tony nodded anyway. “Guess we better get dressed then.” She said slipping off the stool and out the door.

Tony followed, walking to his room. Thoughts ran through his head, most he discarded without a second thought. But a few stayed, a couple were happy about Bucky coming back, others though, were worrisome and he wanted to shake them but he couldn’t. How would Bucky act? How would he act? Maybe he should figure out what the hell to do with Zola before he does anything. That’s a good thought, one step at a time. Zola first, Bucky second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it. :)
> 
> The third part of this series is coming along, it is just kinda slow because of school, the holiday season and depression and anxiety are kicking my ass. Fun times for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky time and Clint. Its a long chapter so be prepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished!  
> This chapter is 8,000 words long, and honestly you guys deserve this long chapter with how long you've waited. Thank you for being patient with me, and thank you for the words i got. It really helped me write.  
> This chapter took a long time to write, if there are places where the wording is weird, it is because i was forcing myself to write through a writer's block.  
> I also could've written a lot more, but i decided that that was a good place to end this chapter. I have no idea when the next one will be written, but if i don't end up getting stabbed in the back again or any other blow to my mental health I should be able to write with retaliative ease.  
> On another note, i re-read the previous chapter i wrote and oh boy how did you read that and stick with this story? Seriously that was bad, I may fix the grammar but i don't think ill be able to start another re-writing with out selling my soul. So thank you for putting up with that, and thanks for reading.  
> i've been think about getting a beta because with the way i write and get stuck and my horrible grammar I need one. So, if any wants to proof read my mess of writing let me know.  
> Enjoy!

Bucky watched as the dock started to fill up with police and some reporters, the Commandos were at first surrounded by the police. Bucky watched as they talked their way out and headed towards their cars that were parked further away. They stopped and turned, they were going to look for Bucky, the Soldier melded into the crowd that was around him. They should be with Tony, Bucky would go and hunt down Hydra. He couldn’t go with them, it felt like a chasm had opened up in his chest and threatened to swallow him whole. He didn’t know how to deal with what was happening,he had no experience that he could clearly remember of dealing with this; so he would do what he was good at and that was not sitting in a waiting room, waiting to news about Tony.

Bucky calmly walked back to the car that he had Tony brought, he drug out the duffel bag that was in the trunk. It had clothes, money, guns, knives and anything they would need just in case they needed to go on the run. He hefted it onto one shoulder and walked away, with every step away from going where Tony was, it tore that chasm wider. 

Days passed by without Bucky realizing, the hours blurred together. It felt like his world had somehow become muted, everything was dull and colorless. It wasn't really but that was how The Soldier felt, it felt wrong. He kept moving following leads destroying best of Hydra that he found. None of them had viable information so he moved on. He had to keep moving forward.

Bucky found he hated silence. Found that he reached across the bed for a man that was not anywhere near him, found that his eyes flicked to the ceiling when he asked something. He felt off kilter, nothing was as it should be.

But every thought that was filled with days passed, whether it be of Tony, Jarvis, or the Commandos; Bucky had to shove it to the farthest part of his brain where he would lock it away. He tried slipping into The Asset’s mindset, there were cracks that were never there before. The Asset was a one tracked mind, whereas The Soldier was not, it was slow going. Bucky wanted to have that simple thought of the mission and nothing more, he wanted that peace that The Asset had. Bucky would sit for hours, slowly piecing himself as The Asset once more and bit by bit it worked. When he searched he had only the mission on his mind and nothing more, he would only slip off the mask when he was alone in a motel room. Allow himself to think of the man that may very well be dead without him even knowing it, think of the team that was probably looking for him.

“I don’t know anything! I don’t know where any of the higher ups went, they scattered and left us to die.” Bucky dug the heel of his boot further into the agent’s chest, he could hear the crack of some bones. The agent grunted “I swear, I don’t know anything.” Bucky looked down at the crying agent, and took his boot away.

“I believe you.” He drawled gruffly, he drew his gun and shot the man before he could utter another word. Bucky cursed softly, another base that was a bust. He was leaving behind carnage, eventually someone would catch on weather it be Hydra or The Commandos. 

“Y’know I might just charge you extra for how much information i’m giving you.” His informant complained. Bucky stared blankly at him, daring him to charge him for the information he was giving. “But, I wouldn’t do that to you man. We cool.” The informant stuttered, Bucky gave him a nod.

“What do you have for me?” 

The informant looked around to see if anybody was around to listen, Bucky had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at him. “I’ve heard that there is this big man that’s been hanging around New York. Called Crossbones.”

Bucky nodded, he handed the informant a wad of bills before walking away, Crossbones alias for Brock Rumlow. The Asset’s old handler, Bucky could recall him near perfectly, a cold sadistic man who enjoyed making others suffer. He enjoyed making Bucky suffer because the Asset couldn’t and wouldn’t say anything against his superiors. Bucky had both mental and physical scarring from that man.

When Rumlow first took over as Bucky’s handler he was...different unlike any of the others, he would talk to The Asset, would gently treat his wounds and speak to him as an equal instead of an object. The Asset was cautious at first, he was meant to be a weapon, was meant to be beaten when his handler was angry or when he messed up and got wounded. Rumlow wasn’t like that, until he was; if he was asked Bucky wouldn’t be able to tell exactly when Rumlow showed his true colors. Maybe The Asset was wrapped up in such a sweet lie that he refused to see him as anything but kind. But eventually all those kind words and hands turned hard and cold, for the slightest mistake Rumlow would punish The Asset. It took months for The Asset to once again learn how to shut himself off from the world when he was hurting, when he was being beaten or shoved back into the chair. That was what Rumlow wanted, he knew he would get no screams from The Asset, he was to use to the torture that Hydra did. Rumlow waited until Bucky was weak and complacent in what he was doing and then began the torture again, it worked. Bucky had screamed and screamed like it was the first time he had someone break his bones, the first time that knives were placed in his skin. Bucky hoped he would meet that bastard again, just to watch the life go out of his eyes when he snapped his neck.

Bucky resumed going through Hydra bases, trying to locate any more information on Rumlow. He had collected only a few snippets from people that had parts of what he needed. Bucky could work with knowing only parts, he could track almost anyone on nothing. Bucky trailed behind someone who could give him more information, he blended with the crowd his metal hand covered in a glove. It was the winter months, so it was easy to hide himself. He would meander the streets, keeping one eye on his target but not enough to raise the suspicion of the women. That’s how he caught sight of the figure cloaked in black grabbing his source, he shoved his way through the crowd trying to reach where they disappeared to.

Bucky slowed as he reached the mouth of the alleyway, the sun cast the alley into the shadows. The Soldier peered deeper into the alleyway trying to see his source and the figure, he walked in glass and dirt crunched under his boots. It was silent, save for the noise that leaked in from the street.

Glass crunched, it wasn’t from him. Bucky whirled around to face the person behind him. He stared down the barrel of a gun, his source was the one holding it. “You, why are you following me?” 

Bucky tilted his head and brought up his hands to tell her he meant no harm. “I’m not, I had seen someone pull you into the alleyway.” Bucky laid a brooklyn accent thick on every word. “I figured no pretty lady should be subject to what a man would do.” He tried to make himself as small as possible, to seem less threatening.

“A lady can take care of herself.” Bucky listened to the inflection of her words, she wasn’t american. Italien maybe, she had the same lilt that Tony had on a few words. 

“I can see that,” He gestured to the gun, with his flesh hand. Her eyes snapped to his hand as her fingers twitched on the trigger. “Why don’t you put that away and we’ll talk. Civilly. Or i could go away seeing as I won’t be saving a pretty damsel in distress like I planned.” Bucky sent her a smile, a remnant of the days when Steve was small and Bucky was whole.The woman looked unsure, her gun wavered, “Okay, i’ll start. I’m James and you?”

“Silvia.” The woman sighed and placed her gun back into its holster, “I’m sorry, i’ve just felt like someone has been following me.” Bucky nodded, he took a closer look. She had dark hair and brown eyes, they weren’t anything special to look at just a deep brown. Her facial features showed that she was of Italian descent, Tony and her shared some features, she was sun kissed so she has been in the sun quite a bit. 

“It’s alright, New York is a dangerous place a pretty lady like you should be able to take care of herself. And be weary of men that follow her into an alleyway.” Bucky made a show of looking around has he lowered his arms. “Where’d that guy go?” Bucky had an inkling where he went, this was a woman of Hydra she could dispose of someone without the gun. The gun was her cover up, he knew that.

“I waved my gun and he ran,” She smiled at him, it had a hard edge to it. “He was a wannabe crook, young and unskilled. Unlike the crooks we have back home.” She shrugged.

“And where is home?” She regarded him harshly, he sunk further into the Brooklyn boy act. He was not a danger, he was a man who wanted to get to know they woman in front of him.

“Italy, it is different from here.” She spoke as if he has never seen it and that he would never see it or even hear of it.

“I can imagine, it probably gets a lot more sun than we do.” Bucky said offhandedly, he didn’t appreciate being looked down upon.

“Si, it does. I miss it terribly.” She sounded homesick, Bucky nodded and eased around her. He was not here to comfort he was here to get information on Cross Bones.

“Seeing as you no longer need a knight in shining armor, i’m going to beat it.” He sent her a smile, and before she could protest he slipped back into the crowd. She would notice if he followed her now. It was stupid of him to chase after her into that alley, but he was getting restless with how little he knew and having his target nearly disappear in front of him didn’t help his sense of unease. He scaled up a apartment building, he would trail her from above. Until she stopped and he could change into another pair of clothes. 

Silvia had finally stopped for the night at a fancy hotel, it wasn’t a continental hotel so that meant she wasn’t here on business. He would be able to sneak into her room and get what he wanted from her.

Bucky checked into a cheap motel and changed into his Soldier gear, he put on a coat to hide the gear and weapons underneath. He walked into the hotel, his hair brushed away from his face so he wouldn’t draw anyone eye, he walked to the elevator without anyone being any the wiser that he wasn’t a guest. Silvia was on the twelfth floor, he leaned against the elevator wall and idly watched the numbers go up. The elevator dinged and the doors opened, he glanced around the hallway no one was out. He walked to her door and knocked, a yell to wait came from inside; he bided the minute with studying the door, it was sturdy he probably wouldn’t be able to break it down. Smart.

The door was eased open, Silvia’s face peered out. When she caught sight of Bucky she tried to slam the door close but The Soldier saw the move and slammed his body into the wood knocking the door open. Silvia fell backwards, she looked dazed for a moment before crawling backward, she was dressed for sleep and had no weapon on her. Bucky shucked the coat down his arms so it wouldn’t be in the way. Drawing his own firearm, he leveled it with her forehead; she stopped and stared at him. 

“Scream and I shoot.” Bucky spoke gruffly, Brooklyn accent gone.

She laughed, it was crackly and nervous “I'm sure you're here for information, so you can't kill me.”

Bucky conceded her point “But I can make life hell for you, until you beg for death.” 

She spoke under her breath in Italian, Bucky replied in kind. She looked shocked, as if Hydra wouldn't make sure their Asset knew how to speak another language. “I assume your name isn't James.” 

“Definitely not,” He lied, “I need information on a man named Cross Bones.” Bucky glanced around the room before leaning down and pulling her up by the arm. “First we are going somewhere without people that can hear.” The Soldier shoved her toward her bed, “Get dressed.” Bucky growled at the women.

“Are you going to watch me?” She sneered at him.

Bucky said nothing, she wasn’t his type, perhaps before if this was an information run, Silvia huffed and changed into warmer clothes. She tried to sneak a gun into her pocket, but the Soldier grabbed her wrist and yanked her away from the dresser. “I will shot you.” He growled in her ear. Bucky pushed her in front of him, “You will not cause a scene.”

“Why would I ever do that?” She smiled at him, Bucky stared at her when she huffed and walked down the hallway with him close at her heels. His coat back in place to hide his gear. 

The Soldier had brought her to a warehouse, she sasses him about how cliche he was. Silvia put on a brave face, Bucky was impressed by that; but he knew it wouldn’t last for very long. “You can just tell me what you know about the Hydra agent Rumlow, called Cross Bones or-”

“You’ll torture me? You think you’re the first to try? I know people from Sicily who have more bite than you.” She spat at him, Bucky grinned. Showing his teeth, he was sure there were people who were better at torture then him, but Hydra taught him well. 

Bucky worked on breaking Silvia for three days, he watched as that careful mask she built up was chipped away by his constant torture. After the third day, he asked he if she wanted to speak with him she spit on him and he left.

He would leave her to stew for a few days to see if that changed her tune. He sighed tiredly as he entered his motel room, he stripped off his clothes on the way to his shower. Left in boxers when he entered the bathroom, he looked at the mirror. He didn’t see Bucky or The Soldier in his gaze, it was The Asset. He turned from the mirror quickly, he had to do this had to destroy Hydra. It was worth it to lose himself if Hydra was gone. A voice that sound to much like Tony argued, would it really? Would it really be better to become The Asset and leave everything that he and Tony painstakingly built behind? Bucky decided to ignore that voice as he stepped beneath the warm spray of the shower.

Bucky stayed under the shower until the water became cold, his head resting on the tile. He replayed everything that occurred over the weeks that he left Tony bleeding and possibly dead, would Tony even agree with what he was doing? How far he was going to destroy Hydra? Bucky sighed through his nose, Tony could be dead for all he knew because Bucky left him dying to go on a manhunt. Bucky screwed his eyes tight as if to ward off the memories that assaulted him of that day, he left him and never checked up on him once. The Soldier punched the tiled wall, angry with himself, pieces of tile fell to the bottom of the tub. He slammed the water off, he didn’t have time to think of Tony he had to focus on getting Crossbones.

 

Bucky returned to the warehouse, a smile on his face when he saw Silvia still where he left her. It had been three days before he decided she had enough. “What do you say Silvia, ready to tell me know?” Bucky walked closer to the woman, he grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look at him. Her carefully placed mask was gone, she looked at him dazed like she couldn’t tell if he was really there or not. Didn’t surprise Bucky, the way the warehouse was there wasn’t much light so he was sure that she was messed with by whatever she saw in the shadows everyday. She blinked a few times before she could focus on him. “Ah, there we are.” Bucky drawled.

“You’re a sick bastard.” She slurred.

“Hydra taught me well.” She looked at him surprised and Bucky could feel the edge of his mouth twitch, like he was going to smile at that. “Didn’t know I was once part of the organization did you? How do you think I found you?’

Her head fell, and Bucky let it letting go of her chin. “Rumlow has become a high operative in Hydra, his last known location was at a hotel in downtown New York. The Merlot.” Her voice cracked as she spoke “I don’t know if he is still there, everything has been radio silence since the death of Peirce.”

Bucky pulled out a knife, twirling it in his hand as he pondered her, “That’s all you know?”

“I know that he has risen in the ranks for a reason, he’s not someone you mess with.”

“Some would say the same about me.” 

She looked at him, her greasy hair hanging limply around and on her face. “This is where you kill me right?” Bucky nodded, Silvia just nodded and bared her throat. Her mouth moving in a prayer in her mother tongue, Bucky slid the knife across her throat quickly. She gurgled before her body went limp, Bucky cut her down and called in a dinner reservation for one, leaving a gold coin in her palm before leaving.

Bucky went back to his hotel and packed up his bag, he payed what he owed to the front desk and left to settle at another place for awhile. He would look into the hotel that Silvia mentioned, Bucky got drove to motel that was within walking distance of the hotel, he set up his room. Pulling out a laptop, he settled on the bed pulling his hair up away from his face and reclining on the wall. There wasn’t much to his new room, it had an old TV with an antenna. One nightstand next to the bed, and the bed was in the middle of the room. It wasn’t the best place that Bucky had stayed but it definitely wasn’t the worst.

Bucky turned on the computer, he started looking for any information on the Merlot. He would needed to know every in and out of the building if that was at all possible, because even with Hydra scattered Bucky was sure that Rumlow would have some goons with him in case anybody wanted to take a hit out on him. Bucky settled on planning for a few days, before he would do anything. He was better safe than dead, at least for now he was.

Bucky went over any information he could, scouted the place as well. He caught sight of his target for a few moments before he ducked away, he could blend into almost anywhere but Rumlow knew him and his face. 

Tracking the man down brought unwanted memories to his mind, he could recall his first meeting with the man. He could recall how nice Rumlow was to him at first, sneaking a little extra food, not pushing him to where he almost passed out because of exhaustion, making sure he was out of a place before blowing it up or leaving, not making him wear the muzzle all the time; Rumlow even talked to him, not just ordered him to do things. Bucky had felt relief, at the time he had no idea why he felt that way,he also felt that same feeling when he was transferred back into Rumlow’s care. The Asset felt more secure when he was under Rumlow, he felt emotions try to push through his training and cloud his thinking, The Asset didn’t know how much he was affected until he had to face a choice of protecting Rumlow or protect his target and he knew his choice, he had thrown himself in front of Rumlow instead of who he was meant to be protecting. It was unexpected and had frightened The Asset, he couldn’t understand why he had done so and knew he was going to be in trouble because so. He had looked to Rumlow to try and understand, but the man had kicked him away and called him ‘weak and pathetic’ from then on, the Asset no longer knew Rumlow as kind or even warm. He would show The Asset kindness when he wanted him to complete something, to do something that would get The Asset punished and yet Bucky listened and did what Rumlow wished. 

Bucky was shoved back into reality when he heard a glass bottle shatter, he drew his gun and aimed it at the source of sound. “Woah, friendly.” Clint was on the other side of the gun, his hands thrown up in surrender. Bucky stared at him flatly, what was he doing here? “Dude, seriously, I could’ve been a cat for all you knew.”

“And yet you weren’t.” Bucky face was stoic.

“But I could have been.” Clint insisted, Bucky resisted the urge to roll his eyes. The Soldier put his gun back into his holster.

“What are doing here?” 

“I’m here because this where Tony said you would be.” Clint put his hands back down to his side, he body relaxed but there was a hidden tension in his shoulders. “Who, by the way is super worried about you. Care to explain why you ran while he was dying?” The words were cheerful, but Clint’s gaze was hard; watching every move that Bucky made, which wasn’t many.

“I have a mission to complete.” Bucky wasn’t surprised if Clint would attack him because he abandoned Tony. His Mechanic had a way of making people protective over him, even if he could take care of himself. “I did not have a reason to stay.” 

“Bullshit.” Clint spat out, “they call me Hawkeye for more than my excellent marksmanship. I see that you care for Tony. You can hide it from everyone, but I had to watch as he looked for you in his hospital room and nearly crumble when he couldn’t find you. I saw him nearly try and get up out of bed, with stitches that are still healing to try and search for you. So, don’t you lie to me.” The archer straightened, his body was loose ready for a fight. But The Soldier was surprised at Clint’s words. “He has been driving himself to exhaustion, looking for you. You, who can’t even call him to make sure he hasn’t died.”

“And say what? I’m sorry? I’m sorry that I had to watch you fucking die in my arms, watch as I was useless and he got shot? I couldn’t sit a damn waiting room, waiting to hear that my heart had died. I’m more useful out here.” Bucky hand flitted back to his gun, they were both angry enough to start a fight, even as their words were calm.

“Yes. That’s exactly what you were suppose to do. He loves you, that’s plain to see to anyone, and yet you didn’t do anything.” Bucky pushed forward shoving the archer against the wall.

“You don’t think I don’t know that? I was the reason that he is a target for any Hydra agent, I lied on the ground while he was shot.” Bucky shoved his face closer to Clint’s “Don’t you dare tell me about how Tony works, I know him far better then you will.”

Clint didn’t flinch away from Bucky, or flinch when he collided with the alley wall. “Then you should know how he would run himself frantic to find you.” The archer pressed his hand against Bucky’s sternum and the other one on the arm that was keeping him pressed against the wall, he pushed and The Soldier stumbled back at the force of him. “Tony was ready to chase after you, I came because I care for him. Now, we are-”

“I’m not done here. I will not leave until my mission is complete.” Bucky straightened and stared the archer down. Bucky watched as Clint through options, his eyes stayed sorely on Bucky but it was clear that he was thinking.

“Then I’m staying with you.” Bucky was ready to argue “If it's only to let Tony that you aren’t dead in a ditch somewhere or with Hydra.” Clint shrugged and a mask slipped on, he became the Clint that said jokes and slang. 

“Fine, but you won’t get in my way.” Bucky’s own mask slipped on in response, his voice became flat and no emotion filtered through. 

“Kay, so who we searching for?” Clint peered around the corner to look at the busy street.

“An old associate of mine.” Bucky breezed past him and into the crowd, he shoved his hands into his pockets. Clint walked next to him, he looked like a college student expect older. He had a purple beanie pulled onto his head, as well as a purple scarf wrapped around his neck, a darker purple coat was zipped up. “Is all you own purple?” Bucky rose and eyebrow and looked further down to see blue jeans and black combat boot. Before looking back at the archer, Clint was doing the same, watching him.

“Purple is a great color.” Clint said with a carefree smile

“You look like a grape.” The Soldier deadpanned.

“Well, you look like a vampire so…” Clint let the word drag.

Bucky shrugged “It's better than a grape.” Bucky heard the archer huff and stomp his foot like a child. “There.” Bucky tilted his chin toward Rumlow, Clint’s gaze followed to where The Soldier was looking.

“He looks mean, like Natasha looks mean but not murdery mean.” Bucky did roll his eyes that time.

“He’s my ex-handler, he is mean.” Bucky walked to a window of a store to look at his target, Clint stood near him and spoke in a low voice.

“You have contempt.” Bucky looked at him for a few seconds, “Your lip curled when you looked at him. Perhaps sticking with Tony, made your face forget how to be a block of stone. Or you really, like really hate him.” Clint looked at Rumlow, “I’m going with that you really hate him, because he just looks like a bad guy.”

“He is, he’s my target that needs to be eliminated.” Bucky moved onto the next store, Clint moved behind him. They both kept an eye on Rumlow, watching where he was moving and who he talked to and what he brought. 

“And what exactly is your plan? Follow him and then what? Hate to say it but he’s a trained operative and he was your handler at one point, so i’m sure he knows how you work. And honestly with the bodies you leave behind, i’m positive he knows someone is tracking Hydra agents.”

“I have planned for that, I need him to lead me to the higher ups. So, killing him is not the most immediate thing we need to do. I’ve been working on this for a while Clint, I know how he works but he knows how i do as well.” Bucky looked at him for a moment, “But you are an unknown, he wouldn’t know how you work.”

“Is that your way of asking for help, because I don’t recommend.” Clint shoved his hands into his jacket pockets.

“Yes, are you going to or not?” Bucky said exasperated already with the man and the way he spoke.

 

“Well, i suppose I’ll have to.” Clint grinned at him, and Bucky huffed. “Do you know where he is staying?” Bucky nodded as he walked to a vendor on the street to look at his wares. “Dude, they got roasted chestnuts, we should get some.” The archer exclaimed and pointed excitedly at the chestnuts. Bucky glared at him, before straightening and smiling at the man; ordering a few of the roasted chestnuts. Clint slides to his side, pressing to the Soldier. “You should at least act like a normal person, it makes you seem less like a stalker. Even Natasha acts friendly, helps throw everyone off.” He muttered to Bucky. 

Bucky looked at him, he was almost ready to shove the archer away. He wasn’t one to allow people in his space, but he shoved that urge down and allowed Clint to stay plastered to his side. “Are you coaching me on how to track a target?” The Soldier pulled out a few bills and paid the vendor. Clint matched him step for step without stepping away. “Could you move?” Bucky growled lowly.

“No, this makes it easier to talk to you.” Clint stole his package of chestnuts and munched on them. “And yes, I am. If hydra taught you a certain way, then wouldn’t Rumlow be alert to that? Trust me, alright? Just smile a bit and talk with me, we will pass him and we need to.” Bucky rose an eyebrow “See none of that, I need you to verbalize, I’m sure as hell not Tony and I’m not a mind reader.”

“Why should we pass him, wouldn’t we lose sight of him?” Clint looked at the stores that they were passing, stopping them a few times to look closer at some things.

“Yes, but that i’ll help us. Because people who follow you,” Clint stopped and pondered for a moment, then said “Follow you,” slowly. “If we pass him, that’ll make him less likely to notice him. Or if you are able to pass close enough, I can put a tracker on him.” Clint reached and put Bucky’s hood on. “There, now I can’t see your face as much.”

“This is a dumb idea.” Bucky grumbled.

“There are no dumb ideas, only ideas that don’t work.” Clint said cheerfully.

“Tell that to both Steve, who has jumped off an airplane without a parachute, and to Tony, who has nearly gotten himself blown up on multiple occasions.” Bucky glanced at Clint who laughed,

“Seriously? I saw Steve thinks he’s superhuman or something. Tell me more of our great leader’s blunders.” Clint coaxed, as he steered them towards Rumlow. Bucky tensed up, uncomfortable at being in such close contact with his ex-handler. “Come on, there has to be some war time stories.” Clint was trying to get Bucky to relax, so they could pass undetected by Rumlow.

“Steve decided a good idea, would be to zipline onto a speeding train. This train was going its max speed, we somehow manage to survive that. I think its was sheer stupidity that kept us alive.” Bucky glanced at Rumlow has he got closer, but then fixedly pointed his stare towards the archer next to him, trying to relax enough to not get noticed by his ex-handler. Clint moved himself to the other side of Bucky to act as a barrier between the two; Bucky appreciated the gesture. But also cursed himself for not being able to be stronger and face the man who he was going to kill.

“Really?” Clint was laughing silently, “I can so see that happening, I saw him once just jump kick off a motorcycle into the middle of some goons.” Bucky made a choked noise at the image, “He manage to not get a scrape on him and the bike took several people out on the way. Keep in mind he was in the air and in a forest. I swear he can’t get hurt when he plans dumb things. I mean super dumb things, but he manages to get out unscathed.” Clint sighed, Bucky felt his muscles loosen a bit as Clint kept talking. The Soldier found comfort in the endless stream of words, Tony had the exact problem. He talked and talked, even when he was sleeping or working. It was nice to hear again, even if it was Clint and not Tony.

“There we go, we are passed him.” Clint muttered as they passed by Rumlow. “Now, we should get back to where im staying and we can track him.”

Bucky debated staying with Clint, weighing the pros and cons of it. “Alright, we’ll have to head back and grab my stuff.”

“You have a phone?” Bucky nodded, Clint held out his hand. The Soldier sighed and handed him the old flip phone he had stashed with him. “Really? Your boyfriend is one of the most technologically advanced man on the planet and you have a flip phone?”

“Yes, I should keep my Stark phone so I can be tracked. Good idea.” Bucky rolled his eyes and shoved the phone at Clint.

“It’s a Stark phone, and your Tony’s partner in crime, literally. I highly doubt your phone could be hacked or traced by anyone but Tony.” Clint looked up from the phone in his hand. “That’s the point isn’t? Tones would have a difficult time finding you if you have an ancient. That’s cold, man.” He shook his head and continued to type on the phone, “I’ll be here, if you're not there by eleven then I’m heading to another safe house.” Clint nodded to him, putting the phone back into Bucky’s hand and walking away. Bucky placed the phone back in his pocket before walking back the way he came, taking different routes so there was no chance of running into Rumlow.

Bucky arrived to Clint’s safehouse, which was an apartment building that the archer apparently owned. It looked like it was about to crumble, but the inside was nice and tidy. The people greeted Clint when he walked by, Bucky asked nothing. 

This was Clint’s safehouse and the less he knew the better for both of them, but that didn’t keep Clint from talking about it or the residents. Bucky listened to the tales that Clint told, he seemed very proud of what he was doing here. Bucky lips twisted into a smile, then a frown, each person in this business had a hobby, Tony was an engineer, Clint loved renovation and being around people, Steve painted, it helped to eliminate the stress that the job caused; Bucky had nothing like that, he had nothing to say ‘I made this and I’m proud of it.’ it surprised, he was free of Hydra for nearly five years and he didn’t have a set hobby, boxing didn’t count. The Soldier shook his head, this was normally something he would talk about with Tony, he would either set him at ease or help him find something to call his own.

“How is he?” Bucky asked quietly, cutting off Clint’s story about the old lady who has several cats.

“Who?” Clint’s hands dropped to his hands to his lap, and gave Bucky his full attention.

“Tony.” Bucky avoided his gaze, he looked at the wall. Studying the difference in color from where it's been rubbed against.

“He’s,” Clint waved his hand “Y’know worried, he's healing last I heard. Though Bruce is having a hard time keeping him in bed,” Clint stops and debates with himself for a second “He’s trying to deal with you not being there, the team stepped up to help him.” Bucky looked at his hands, “He's been having nightmares, the team has taken to sleeping with Tony to help him.” The Soldier raised an eyebrow at the archer. “Not sleeping, sleeping. Like sex, but just sleeping. I mean if Tony wanted to sleep with any of the team would you blame him?” 

Bucky closed his eyes to stop from rolling them at Clint’s hurried explanation, he knew Tony wouldn’t screw around with other people he put those days behind him, despite what the media might believe. “Okay, so you’re in contact with Tony?”

“Why? You want to actually talk to him?” Clint looked at him, “Thought so, maybe we should focus on the task at hand.”

“Says the guy, who was talking about an old lady with cat problems.” Bucky did roll his eyes then pulled a laptop into his lap, “Rumlow is in his room, the blueprints to the hotel are here. Though he is on the middle floors, we could either-”

“No.” Clint cut him off, “We are doing this my way, we are going to walk into the hotel like actual customers.” Bucky rose an eyebrow, at the idea. “See, that’s why. It's something that you would never think of and neither would Rumlow. It’s perfect.” The Soldier conceded to his point, he would never think of something like that. He was trained to find an entry and exit point without being seen. 

The two hovered over the laptop, looking at the rooms of the hotel, they were each more or less the same with a few changes to some. They planned for the room that Rumlow was in, well Clint planned Bucky just listened and nodded along. 

 

“You got all that?” Bucky nodded “Good, I hate planning these. Never make me do it again.”

“I didn’t make you do it this time, you chose to.” Clint huffed and pouted at him. Bucky’s chest tightened, Tony would do the same when Bucky pointed out the obvious flaw in his argument. Being around Clint made his Asset mindset crumble, perhaps it's for the best now that he knows that Tony is alive. He was fully Bucky, or as much as he could be; he would always have the Asset in the back of his mind. 

The two walked into the hotel, they were wearing civilian clothing, they took the time to look as in place as they could. Clint was a spy for shield was exceptionally good at seeming like a normal person, or unthreatening. Bucky on the other hand, was not an operative like Clint, he was an assassin true, but he was usually further from his target. He followed the archer lead, even smiled at a few people who met his eyes. 

“Look at you being polite, I’m so proud.” Clint grinned at him, and Bucky jabbed his metal elbow into his ribs and smiled sweetly at him. Clint grunted at the contact and glared at the brunet “I take it back, you’re horrible.”

“Hm, you may be right.” Bucky smiled stayed as he took steps to walk in front of the archer, Clint huffed and moved a bit faster to walk next to the Soldier.

They, well Clint managed to charm the man at the front desk into thinking they had lost their key card and sadly didn’t have their ids on them, because that was all in the luggage in their room. Bucky was slightly at how easily Clint got them a keycard to Rumlows’ room.

As they enter the elevator, Clint turned towards him, The Soldier took a step back at the other man’s proximity to him. CLint just stepped into his space again, “Just deal with it, people are uncomfortable with any type of intimacy. This is so we can talk, i doubt Tony would be happy with me making a move on his man, not matter how pissed he is at you.”

“Speak then.” Bucky sighed.

“Rumlow probably has he placed booby trapped at least a little because I’m sure he is a paranoid dude. So, we are going to have to tread lightly.”

“No, that isn’t Rumlow, he’s a cocky man who thinks he can’t be touched. He use to leave even the door unlocked because he didn’t think that any would be able to hurt him.”

“Are you sure, this needs to be hundred percent. If there is a slightest-”

“There isn’t, I know Rumlow.” Bucky said lowly, daring Clint to say something to disagree again. 

Bucky turned out to be correct, there was no tripwire, nothing that fell the door to make a door or even a desk place just slightly in front of the door to clatter to floor when it was hit. Clint looked at the other in disbelief.

“Wow, you weren’t kidding, this is ridiculous and so dangerous.” Clint voice was barely even a whisper as he spoke. Bucky just nodded and reached for the gun he had tucked away, Clint did the same. The two footsteps were barely heard on the carpeted floor, Rumlow was lounging on his bed, the two stepped into the full view of the room. Bucky hung behind the archer, not wanting his presence to be noticed. Rumlow was up in a moment and ready to reach for a gun, but the knife that went by his hand stopped him, he hissed and tugged his hand to his chest looking at the shallow wound that Clint’s knife had caused. 

“Are you here to kill me?” Rumlow straightened himself to his full height.

“Nah, we just have some questions. Though after,” Clint looked to be pondering his options, while Rumlow;s eyes flicked to Bucky, the Soldier had to suppress a flinch. “We may decide to kill you.” Clint shrugged.

“Hm, here to finish the job Asset? Thought you worked alone, or is this idiot your new handler?” Bucky didn’t raise to the bait, he refused to speak. “Nothing to say huh? Guess nothing has changed, though I have to ask; how is that man you were so enamored with? Alive? Because i’d be surprised if Hydra hasn’t tried to kill Stark again.” Bucky stiffened, “Zola, despite everything, still wants his mind. Wants to make him like you, expect less susceptible to pretty faces.” 

The Soldier stiffened at the words, the urge to protect strong and Tony wasn’t even near him. He would never allow his mechanic to go through what he did. “How do you know about Stark?” Bucky spoke through clenched teeth.

“You think you’re far from Hydra? We know you're with him, protecting him, sleeping with him.” Bucky felt his jaw twitch, they knew. They knew yet they did nothing. “You are never far from us, we figured you get bored eventually, or Stark would. Quite the playboy,” Rumlow smiled slowly “Tell me, is he as good-” Bucky lashed forward, refusing to let him finish what he was saying. The soldier gripped Rumlow’s jaw, pressing his fingers into his jaw hinge. His eyes were cold, full of fire; the opposite of the Asset. 

“You will keep his name out of your fucking mouth, or i’ll break your jaw.” Bucky released him, Rumlow rubbed his jaw slowly, he now watched the Soldier with wariness.

“You have changed, being someone's bitch always changes you.” This time it was Clint you swung, he slammed his gun onto Rumlow’s temple. 

“Asshole.” He muttered, before picking him up by one arm. “Help me out here, we’ll take him through a side exit. I have a place we can take him.” Bucky just nodded and helped the archer.

They got out of the hotel with minimal people worrying about the passed out Rumlow between them, Clint easy smile and excuse seemed to sway any person who wanted to question them. They arrived to where Clint decided they would keep the Hydra agent. Clint secured him to a metal chair.

“How do want to go about this? Like how attached are you to the idea of not torturing people?” Bucky levels with a flat look, “I don’t speak eyebrows, you do need to speak.”

“I was Hydra, who loved their torture, so i have no qualms against torture. He especially deserves a taste of it.” Bucky looks at Rumlow with an expression that has too many micro expressions for Clint to exactly pinpoint, but there was a definite anger.

“I think i’ll do it, you're too close and could lose your temper. Before you argue, it has been four years since you were the Asset, you’re dealing with both of those clashing personalities inside you. You’re powder keg about to explode and Tony isn’t here to watch out for you.” Clint waved a hand toward the door, “There is a room right down the hall, get some sleep.” Bucky nodded and turned towards the door.

“Don’t go easy on him, he’s tough and hard to crack. Just don’t kill him.” The Soldier said over his shoulder.

“I’m a professional, I know how to get info without killing. Might make him wish for it though,” Clint walked towards Rumlow “I’ll leave him for you when I get what I need.”

“Ask about Zola, he’s a Hydra scientist. Perfected the mind wiping trick, also ask about any other higher ups. I want this to be over with soon, I want them gone.”

“They’ll never be gone, there will always be someone.” Bucky gave him a sharp look over his shoulder. “You can’t let this consume you, Tony needs you. Destroy who you need, but you’ll either need to return to Tony or run.” Clint shrugged “It’s your choice, but for the love of everything choose the less stupid choice.”

Bucky said nothing as he left the room, he heard Clint talking to Rumlow to wake him up as the door swung shut behind him. His thought were a whirlwind, he never even considered running or continuing to chase Hydra after he got through his list. He could, it just was never an option he thought about, but he was able to choose to run and never look back. Start… start what? He had no life skills, none that he could remember at least; he couldn’t be a soldier again they’d ask to many questions. He placed his hand on the wall, he was officially dead, he announced KIA long ago. Steve didn’t even know he was alive until Tony and he had a run in with his group, Steve was shocked and nearly started crying when he looked at him, then horrified when Bucky couldn’t recall who he was. He was dead, to everyone who knew him before he was brainwashed didn’t know he alive. Bucky rushed into the room, sliding to floor, he had a family. He had a mother and sisters who didn’t even know, he couldn’t even recall their faces. It was only glimpses, feelings, a sense of family. Bucky drew his knees to his chest, he longed for Tony; for his mechanic to pull him to chest and whisper to him until he could breathe again. What was he doing? Why was he still in the game? If he did quit the game, could he even return to his family? Could he face them knowing what he did, how his hands were stained with blood? Would they accept him back, could they accept the days where couldn’t grasp feelings or even memories? Bucky’s breath was harsh and loud in the silence of the room, he curled into himself. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want this. He wanted to be safe back in Tony’s arms, back where he knew he was, where he wasn’t questioning what he was doing. His fingers dug into his arm, there was no one to calm him down, he didn’t have Tony and he didn’t have Steve. He could feel his fist tightening on his arm, he knew that he metal arm would leave bruises, he knew he could break his arm. He almost wanted, wanted to be distract from this panic. He wrenched his left arm away from his body, looking down at the grooved surface. How would he explain this to his family? He nearly laughed, he was imagining entirely impossible scenarios that would never happen, that didn’t stop his brain from bringing them up. Would they look like Steve when he first got a glimpse of the prosthetic, his face had crumpled even more, he looked as if the air had left him and his eyes never left the hand that was showing from his shirt. He had pulled on a glove to get him to stop, would they act as anyone in the street? Looking with curiosity but also pity and never asking about it. He dropped his head onto his knees, slowing his breath, shoving every unbridled thought far from his subconscious. He dragged himself up from the floor, feeling as though he was made of lead, his arm feeling heavier by the moment. He collapsed onto the bed, his eyes shut without his saying so, he eventually drifted off into an uneasy sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's side of the months that Tony lied in the hospital.

The Soldier woke up when the door opened, his gun in his hand ready to defend himself if need be. “Woah, you really need to stop pointing guns at me.”  
Bucky relaxed as he looked at Clint, “Well, maybe if you stop making it easy to aim at you. I’ll consider it.” He put the gun into his waistband, “You need something? Or are you here to bother my sleep?” 

“Well, Rumlow is a tough bastard to break; but I managed to get some numbers out of him and words, I figured they were important.” Clint stepped further into the room, Bucky stood up quickly pulling his hair into a ponytail, a few strands slipping from his grasp and trailing down the side of his face. 

“Tell me, I might know them. Or I might not.” Bucky shrugged, he went to his bag to pull out a new shirt. He cataloged his supplies and what he needed for a few moments, before looking at his arm he needed to do basic maintenance on the arm in a while, before a wire fried and ruined his motor control.

Clint started to rattle off a few words, Bucky whipped around and slammed his flesh hand to Clint’s mouth to stop the flowing words. When he was sure Clint would stop, he stumbled away from him. “Do not ever repeat those words. Not to anyone, just never speak them again.” His chest felt squeezed, the archer learned those words from Rumlow but how did he know them.

“Dude, are you alright? What were those words?” Clint stayed very still, he seemed to barely breathe in case of setting Bucky off.

“No, I can’t go near him now. Those words were- are my trigger words, that's how they kept me in their control.”

“How can they still work, you’ve been out of their control for years.” Bucky looked at the other for a few moments.

“I don’t know, but if they still work.” Bucky shook his head, “I can’t take that chance, they’d ask me to- I can’t be under their control again.” 

“You won’t be, but I can’t crack this guy. I thought I did, but I didn’t. I need you to help me.” 

Bucky closed his eyes and took a few breaths, he was James ‘Bucky’ Barnes, he worked as an assassin, lived with Tony stark; his partner and lover. He wouldn’t fall victim to Rumlow again, he wouldn’t fall victim to Hydra again. He opened his eyes “Okay. Okay, I’ll see what I can do. But you need to be there just stop him saying those words.” Clint nodded, “Give me a few moments.” He nodded again and left the room. Bucky took the time to change into clean clothes, he let his hair down again, rather have the chance to hide behind the curtain then allowing Rumlow to scrutinize every facial movement. 

Clint was waiting for him outside the door, “I’ll be with you, right by the door. He starts to say those words and i’ll shut him up.” Bucky made a small noise of agreement. He took another deep breath as they approached the door, calming his nerves. “I’m with you.” Clint repeated, and the Soldier was grateful for it. 

Bucky pushed open the door, stepping into the room. Rumlow was in the middle, his face bruised as well as the rest of him, his breath were sharp pants telling Bucky that his ribs maybe cracked. His hands were bloody, the tips of his fingers were digging into the metal of the chair, the handcuffs were cutting into his arms from where pulled against them. But he still glared at Bucky, still had the willpower to look defiant. 

“So, you finally decided to show your face? Surprised you didn’t decided to hide out for any longer.” His words were slurred but they still were strong, he sent a glance to the archer who shrugged, he was tense like a wire. His fingers were near his belt were Bucky was sure there were knives waiting to be used at the slightest threat to one of them.   
“You know how torture works, taking turns so you never get use to the way someone tortures you. I thought you would know that since it was one of your favorite things to do.” Bucky just shook his head and walked over to the tray where Clint placed his tools. 

Rumlow looked at Bucky with a glare, but his shoulders showed his tension. Bucky smiled softly at him, remembering how Rumlow loved to torture people. It was one of his favorite things to do, even if it was unnecessary to do so. Bucky never thought that Rumlow would be subjected to someone else’s knife he remembered how infallible he use to be, now he was holding a facade. Bucky wished he could go back and hit who he use to be for ever following this man instead of killing him as he slept.  
Clint and Bucky took turns on working on Rumlow, Brock held sturdy refusing to give them inch. Bucky watched as he closed himself, escaping much as Bucky did when he remembered enough to be in pain.

“He's a tough bastard, we might have to take this another way.” Clint mused as he cleaned his knives. Bucky made a soft noise to show he was listening. “Play this separate, he won't talk to you unless it's to get you back in his control. Which just no.”

“You're suggesting a switch? How long would that take?” Bucky looked up from his arm, he was doing basic maintenance on it.

“More of a mole instead of a switch. Make him trust me enough to think I'll turn on you. Ask about Hydra and Zola.” Bucky closed the plate he had opened, flexing his arm.   
“Rumlow is a tricky bastard, he'll be hard to convince. Harder to get him to trust you.”

“I'm a spy, trained by Shield or even Hydra. Before that I was a performer, I'm good at playing people.” Clint looked confident in his words, but the Soldier was apprehensive. There were things that could go wrong, many things Rumlow could catch on and the he would either go along with it to escape and possibly kill Clint or he would shut down and they might lose their chance to get information out of the man. “Look man, we aren’t getting anywhere with what we are doing right now. Let me at least try, if it doesn’t work.” Clint trailed off

“If it doesn’t work, then I have no more leads. I have no more strings to follow, I’d have no clue where to look for the next loose end.” Bucky sighed “You’d better be sure about this.” 

“I am, I’ll get to work now.” Clint sent Bucky a smile and disappeared out the door  
.  
It was a slow going process, Rumlow used the opportunity to ask about Bucky and who was working with, Clint had to give a few details away for it to seem like they may have worked together before, Rumlow asked where The Mechanic was and Clint said he was dead or dying last he heard. Got into a firefight and Bucky left him bleeding on the field which wasn’t far from the truth but still hurt to hear when he was repeating it. Rumlow was looking for information to see how much Clint would give him and Clint gave a good show of wanting to get away from Bucky and not trusting him and not wanting to betray Bucky as he did. It was almost fascinating. The soldier was never used in these types of mission and Tony never wanted to risk them to maybe month or longer missions. Bucky acted the same towards Rumlow, but if Clint and him were in the same room then Bucky would act colder then he would outside of the room. Rumlow had yet to utter the words that might trigger him back into the Asset mindset.

“We not even talking today Asset?” Rumlow sneered, he was being more defiant as Clint was getting closer. It was stupid on his part because it would make any other person who wasn’t in on the plan to suspect something. Bucky stared blankly at Rumlow, he wasn’t talking to the man except the occasional question. “Tell me about your partner, Hydra has ears everywhere” Bucky just turned back to the tray of tools that were left out for him. “Did you care for him? Did you think he would be able to save you from us?” Bucky sneered at the tray and kept the sneer on his face as he faced Rumlow. “He obviously broke some of your training.”

“Not enough it would seem.” Bucky said he picked up a knife, it had a serrated edge to it, he looked closely at the closing wounds on Rumlow

“I'd agree, care to share with the class about your partner?” Rumlow grinned, it made Bucky grip the blade tighter and shove it into Rumlow’s thigh.

“No, either tell me what I want to know or shut up.” Bucky said getting closer to him keeping his hand on the knife and twisting it, watching Rumlow grimace and grit his teeth against the pain. As Bucky straightened he felt a point against his neck.

“I’m sorry dude, but I can’t keep doing this. You’ve lost it.” Bucky lip curled and a growl left his throat as he swung around, hitting Clint’s arrow making him move with it unless he wanted the arrow to snap. 

Bucky moved to grab the bow from Clint, but the archer used the bow to grab the Soldier's wrist and twisted his arm, Bucky gritted his teeth at the sound of metal grinded against each other, that’d be a pain to fix. Clint swung the bow to hit Bucky in the face, catching him under the chin; the Soldier stumbled back and nearly fell into Rumlow, Bucky grabbed onto the knife he had earlier imbedded into his leg and pulled. Rumlow was caught off guard by the movement and yelled out as the blade was ripped from leg, Bucky swung the blade holding tight to his person. The room was small, almost to small to move around Rumlow and Clint, and he couldn’t move to far for fear of being shot by an arrow. Bucky placed Rumlow between them, he watched Clint nock an arrow.

“I think we both know you’ll win this standoff.” Clint was solemn and quiet. Bucky said nothing return he instead gripped Rumlow’s chair with his metal arm and tugged, he felt the bolts give away as he shoved the man and chair at Clint. Bucky took the archers momentary distraction as a chance to run out the door, slamming it close and running through the halls. Until he felt he was far enough away to not be heard by with either men, he rubbed his arm feeling the new dent in the joint. He promised to give Clint a new bruise to go along with his new dent, Bucky went to his room, grabbing his bag and went out of the warehouse. Dropping his stuff off in the trunk of his car and waited for Clint to pass by him.

When the archer's beat up truck rattled pass, Bucky tailed them staying back as far he could without losing sight of the truck. The truck parked in front of an abandoned warehouse, Bucky parked a block away he used the fire escape to slip through a window. He crouched and stood on the hi-beams, following behind the pair as they walked through the warehouse; Bucky made note of every guard that he could see as he pasted them. 

“Is this like, some secret lair or some shit. Because those dudes don’t look too friendly.” Clint’s body language was open and showed he was unconcerned by what was going on around him, but The Soldier saw the minute movements that showed the archer was tense and wanted to pull his weapon back and run.

“It’s a safe place, you don’t have to worry about them either. They are just hired muscle and won’t do anything.” Brock put a hand on Clint’s shoulder as a way to put the man at ease, it had the opposite effect, but Clint forced himself to relax a bit more. They stopped, Clint looked around then stared straight into the dark corner near him. Bucky couldn’t see what caught the archer eye, but Clint was known to be able to see great distance with clarity so he might see something that Bucky couldn’t yet.   
“Well, what have we here.” Bucky tensed as a german accented voice rung through the warehouse, “You could see me couldn’t you? Impressive, for anybody.” Armin Zola stepped further into the light.

“Let's just call it a specialty of mine to see things other people don't.” Clint said with a shrug.

“Most impressive.” There was a smile on Zola’s face, the one he used when he found a new technique to use on his experiments. Then he turned his gaze on Rumlow “Where is the asset? You were sent to retrieve him.”

“Escaped. He ran, but we have ways to find him.” Zola looked angry, he stepped up to the agent there was a subtle flinch as the scientist approached Rumlow.   
“Your mission was not recruitment, your mission was to apprehend the Asset and his partner. What shall we do? This boy is not a good replacement for what we have lost. The Asset is the most important thing or have you forgotten?”

“No, I know better then most how dangerous the Asset is.” Rumlow straightened up, trying to make himself bigger than the already small scientist. 

Clint took the moments of a staring contest to pull a arrow from his quiver, nocking the bow and quietly back a good pace a way. The arrow was different, the head of the arrow was blunt Bucky couldn’t make out much other than that from his vantage point. The archer looked up to where the soldier was watching and grinned before pulling the bowstring back to nearly it full potential before releasing the string, a thwack rung through the warehouse and the sound of a body slumping to the ground. The arrow connected with Zola’s temple and seemed to spark a little before making the scientist slump, Rumlow whipped around with his gun in hand.

“So, I guess that means i’m not joining your evil boy band?” Clint still had a small smile on his face as other Hydra agents made a small circle around him.

“Who are you?” Rumlow growled taking a step closer.

“Some call me Hawkeye.” Clint shrugged, a flicker of recognition ran across the faces of the surrounding agents. They knew he was a commando and the name of an assassin who never missed, it made Clint grin wider. “Anytime you want to drop in Robocop, you can.” Clint eyes flicked briefly to the rafters, it made the agents tense up more at the thought that the archer wasn’t alone.

“Seems you have this handled.” Bucky said has he slipped off the rafters, his boots making a dull thud against the concrete. He straightened from the crouch he landed in, his gun held in his flesh hand and metal arm glinting and flexing in the light. 

“Never hurts to have help.” Clint smiled and then was the picture of an assassin, grim and determined.

“Remember Rumlow is mine.” Bucky voice was low.

“Of course.” Clint nodded, before pulling an arrow and releasing it within one breath.

It was enough to set the warehouse in chaos, Bucky lifted his arm to block the gunshots aimed at him before he lifted his gun to shoot at the agents. His eyes trained on Rumlow who had yet to make a move, he looked at Bucky and yelled orders and finally moved. Agents moved closer to try and get the upper hand on them, Bucky used his metal arm to break bones and twist metal, Clint swung his bow to throw his opponents away from him, he combated each blow with one of his own. Both worked in tandem, it wasn’t as smooth as it was when Bucky was working with Tony, but both were assassins both were trained to kill, both were trained to work with others and not hurt allies as they worked. Rumlow looked at the bodies of his agents fall and realized he wouldn’t stand up against both of them, he turned and swung up the warehouse stairs up to the catwalks.  
“I can't let him escape.” The Soldier called as he moved to give chase to the ex-handler.

“Yea alright, i just handle twenty guys by myself!” Clint said sounding experated but looked like he was having very few problems with the lackeys that were only attacking him one at a time.

Bucky rolled his eyes and took chase after Rumlow, grabbing the catwalk and climbed up. Pulling out his gun as he landed with a dull thud; The Soldier’s eyes scanned as he looked for Rumlow, he saw Rumlow’s form running across the catwalk; he quickly took chase after him. Hopping over railings to reach Rumlow, he reached out and gripped the back of Rumlow’s tactical gear. 

Rumlow slammed into the railing, his hand gripping the railing to catch himself from falling. “Well isn’t this familiar, trying to kill Hydra again are you Asset? We both know Hydra will take you back one day. Even if you kill me they will be there, knowing exactly how to break you. Your little Mechanic wouldn’t last a day in the hands of Hydra.”  
Bucky grit his teeth and schooled his expression “They won’t get the chance to get near him.” The Soldier gripped Rumlow’s neck in his metal hand and squeezes feeling the bones snap under his fingers, watching Rumlow’s grab at his hand trying in vain to pull his fingers away from his throat. He eyes went wide and he was wheezing trying to get breath in his lungs. The Soldier lifted him and dropped him off the side of catwalk as he saw the life leave his eyes. 

Bucky went back to help Clint deal with the last of the Hydra operatives. “Took you long enough.” Clint said through clenched teeth.

“FIgured you could handle a few lackeys.” Bucky said as he grabbed an arm and twisting the wrist that was holding the gun. 

“A few, not twenty. Maybe don’t leave me alone with twenty again, ya?” Bucky sent a glance at Clint and saw him favoring his right side and his face was pinched in pain. Bucky and Clint finished off the last few that stood. Clint wobbled where he stood, Bucky shot his hand to wrap around his arm to keep him standing. 

“I apologize, but I coul-”

Clint waved his hand “Ya, ya. I get it, revenge is hell of a thing.” Clint placed his bow on his back and went over to the unconscious Zola, checking his pulse. “We should get out of here, head back to the compound.” Bucky stiffened at the mention of the compound, Clint eyes snapped to his “You have to face him at one point, perhaps having something, like interrogating Zola, could help break the tension.” Clint shrugged and stood “But that’s entirely up to you to decide how to handle this situation with Tony.” 

Bucky looked away from Clint for a moment to collect his thoughts, “You’re right, I have to go back at some time and face what I did to him.”

“Not only him but everyone else has taken a shine to Tony and will want answers from you as well as to why the fuck you thought that leaving Tony half dead was the best idea.” Clint eyes glinted with barely there anger. 

“You know why I left.” Bucky went and slung Zolaover his shoulder and walked out to the car, putting the scientist in the trunk. Waiting for the archer to get in the car so they could leave and head back to the compound. 

The two started the long journey back to the compound, Clint made a phone call to Tony to let him know that they were on their way with Zola, he asked if Tony wanted to speak to Bucky. Bucky tried not to get his hopes up in those few seconds of silence as Clint listened to Tony’s response, His mechanic had declined to talk to him Bucky shouldn’t have felt sad but he did. He had messed up and he knew that he had hurt Tony.   
They arrived at the compound next week. “Its good to have you back Mister Barton.” Jarvis said politely to the archer as he stepped out of the car. “You as well Mister Barnes.” Jarvis sound relieved to see the Soldier safe as he stepped out of the car as well. “Sir is waiting for you in the living room.” 

“Thanks Jarvis.” Bucky said up to the ceiling, and lifted Zola from the trunk. He trailed behind Clint as they went to the elevator, making their way to the living room; Bucky stood back waiting to see the reactions of those who were with Tony. Bucky wasn’t ready to see his Mechanic standing in the middle of the room, looking worse for wear as if he hasn’t been sleeping well. The sight of Tony made his heart clench and he stopped and took him in, not looking away from the man.

“Welcome home.” Tony wasn’t smiling, but Bucky could read the relief on his face as he looked at both of them, though he didn’t stare at Bucky just gave him a quick glance. Before looking to Clint. “I see you’ve brought a guest, Steve can take him down to the interrogation room I have set up.” 

Bucky looked to Steve who was standing at Tony’s shoulder, he walked over to Bucky who had yet to move from the threshold of the elevator, he looked unsure as to if he was welcomed to step any further inside of Tony’s domain. 

“It good to have you back Clint.” Steve gave the archer a smile and a frown, “And you and I are havin’ a talk later Buck.” Steve looked at the Soldier with his disappointed face, Bucky looked right back. Not as affected by the look anymore as he once was, but it still made him feel that much more ashamed of what he did. Bucky handed off Zola to Steve and looked again to Tony, who had turned and walked over to a couch. 

“Clint will you go with Steve to make sure Zola doesn’t cause any trouble.” It was phased as a request but it was a demand more than anything. Clint nodded and followed after Steve. “Good to see your not hurt. I’m sure you had quite the trouble getting Zola.”

Bucky nodded, “Rumlow was with him.” He said softly and took a step further into the room. “He’s dead, I broke his neck.” 

“Another off your list then, I suppose.” Tony sat down, he brought his feet up on the cushions. 

Bucky stared at him, trying to figure out what Tony wanted to say to him. “Yea, we have taken down many of them.”

“Though I wasn’t there to help you with Rumlow.” Tony looked at Bucky lifting his eyes from the floor. “I died James, and you weren’t there. I died and you fucked off, to chase Rumlow.” Tony was angry and he had every right to be. “You didn’t wait to see if I would make it. You left me on that pier, alone. The only person I wanted to see when I opened my eyes and you were gone.” 

“I couldn’t, Tony I couldn’t; watching you close your eyes and stop breathing was the worst thing that has happened to me. Worse than Hydra could ever be, it felt like I had died on the pier when you stopped breathing. I couldn’t sit in a waiting room waiting to hear that you were gone forever and I would never be able to hold you, or hear your voice again. That would have destroyed me.” Bucky stepped back to the wall on the opposite side of Tony, he slid down and sat. He couldn’t handle standing as he thought back to the moment he thought His Mechanic was lost to him.

“Except I didn’t die, I woke up days later and thought Hydra got their hands on you. I couldn’t sleep, I was so worried and I tried everything to find you. Do you understand that? You left me, I was dying and you left me.” Tony was gritting his jaw as his eyes became watery. Bucky stood up and went over to him, he reached out to touch Tony, but Tony slapped his hand away. “You left me Bucky, you had a choice and you went on a crusade.”

Bucky sat in front of him “I’m so sorry and I know words can’t explain how sorry I am. I made a decision and it was wrong, I know that now. I should’ve stayed with you, but I ran away because I couldn’t handle the moment if they told me you had died. Please Tony, I’m sorry.” 

“I know, God I understand. You went dark and felt like you had to leave and I want to be angry at you, but I understand.” Tony slid to be in front of Bucky, climbing into his lap to hug him. Bucky immediately wrapped his arms around the Mechanic, holding as tight as he could without hurting him. “You can’t do that to me, ever again.”

Bucky pressed his face to Tony’s hair “Never, I’ll never leave your side again. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have my laptop and things have finally calmed down around me, well thats a lie. But I started to write again so theres a plus. Hopefully you enjoyed and i'm sorry for such a long wait hopefully it was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> This took a turn, I have no idea what will be next. I was happy with the Tony's section so i might just keep that, but idk. we'll see.  
> I made a poster for this, i love this series so much. Its on my tumblr cause i don't know how to work Ao3  
> http://tinyurl.com/zsq5cku


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